The takes will always be Hot, I guess.
Photo Credit: Arik Cardenas
Yesterday’s workshop Money Mindfulness—as I promised in instagram captions—was FUN and hip and Brit and I made it a real good time (I mostly existed and Brit did a phenomenal job of relaying financial information succinctly and efficiently before anyone could cry or fall asleep).
Still, discussion amongst us made me continuously realize how constricting it is operating with nuclear families and capitalism.
Together, we bravely assessed our budgets. Many of us looked at our bank accounts for the first time in weeks (months?). At least for me, it felt far easier to take a look at reality while in the comfort of others. I also should mention that I dropped out of business school lollllll. But truly it was all finance-bro level stuff—nothing inherently wrong with that but I’m not trying to work on wall street—and there’s google now.
Anywayyyy, after we budgeted, Brit asked us to consider where we could minimize some spending. One person mentioned how important it felt to have groceries delivered because they have children to care for and the $20 delivery fee felt worth it, while also acknowledging that it’s an additional expense. I kept to myself in that moment because I think I would have taken the convo way off topic, but I kept thinking how that was a perfect example of exactly why we need more mutual aid.
I know the term sounds so official, at least it has to me. I used to think of mutual aid as essentially charity — showing up to soup kitchens, feeding the houseless, cleaning highways. Totally great things to do. What I have learned though is that mutual aid isn’t some "saviorism" practice. It’s something that sounds maybe spectacular or “extra” but it is something that I wish were normalized.
The participant who shared about grocery delivery made me think about how easy it could be to pick up their groceries for them while I was also out shopping. Maybe they live a little 10 minute detour away, but to save them $20 and the hassle is a very small price to pay. I always leave space for my immense naiveté and maybe my optimism is a result of desperation—the belief that maybe things aren’t as horrific as they seem? Maybe things could be better?
Regardless, in terms of mutual aid, I feel like that truly is something that is actually quite realistic for the most part, albeit uncommon in such a hyper-individualized world. I’m not asking for universal income or universal childcare (although, hey, how great could that be). I’m yearning for active participation in each other’s lives. We are all under the influence of capitalism — mainly meaning that we have to work for money. We have to pay bills. We have to pay rent. There is no getting around that. And still, how can we support each other and as a result and also receive support ourselves?
Kula is still too much of a baby to launch my dreams on a big scale but I will personally say to anyone, even those I have yet to have a single conversation with: I am always here to help with errands, hangout with you kiddo, walk your dog, bring you groceries, (I hate cooking) but will bring you delivery :). I think most people find that concept absolutely audacious. Like how on earth could we ask someone we DO know let alone someone we don’t know to help us????
As a slight aside, another question Brit posed to us within the workshop was how our initial conception of money influences our current financial behavior. I recall as a child feeling an immense sense of scarcity which I think was incredibly valid as one of seven kids. My parents did an amazing job budgeting for all of us. At the same time, I also remember siblings selling us their Abercrombie hand-me-downs and a very distinct transactional interaction between friends in my teens. If someone bought me $5.10 of food I had to immediately repay them the exact amount. While I can have a lot of compassion for financial insecurity (and still have plenty of it myself). I’ve found wild appreciation and excitement through generosity. I am very lucky that I have had friends, particularly those in recovery, who have bought me coffee, lunch, and given me rides with zero expectation for return.
Overall, the premise is more that we give when we can and we receive when we need. Eventually it will all probably even out and even if it doesn’t, isn’t being a part of each other’s lives the literal point?
reply to this if you think I'm dumb :)
